Funko Friday: Abraham Ford (The Walking Dead)

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In honor of one of everyone’s favorite characters from The Walking Dead, this brand-new edition of “Funko Friday” here at The No Seatbelt Blog is dedicated to none other than Abraham Ford, the red-headed military man who met his unfortunate demise during the first episode of the show’s current season.

Played on the show by Michael Cudlitz, who coincidentally grew up in my former hometown of Lakewood, New Jersey, Abraham was a man who enjoyed the finer things in life – big guns, good cigars, and the sharpest of one-liners. With an impressive mane of red hair and a mustache that won’t quit, Abraham could always be found dressed for the part, gun in hand, ready to rid the world of the undead.

Cut down before his time, Abraham was the first of the show’s main group to be fallen by the bat of Negan, his weapon-of-choice a finely-crafted slugger wrapped in barbed wire that the villain lovingly refers to as “Lucille.” I still struggle to decide how I ultimately feel about that – I always liked Abraham, but Negan, played with gusto I’ve seldom seen by Jeffrey Dean Morgan, is arguably one of the greatest bad guys to ever be featured on screen. Ever. Either way, watching Abraham’s head get beaten to a bloody pulp was certainly jarring.

What is most upsetting about Abraham’s death on the show is that fans will never again be graced with his abiding love for the one-liner. Before Negan came on the scene, Abraham was undoubtedly the best-written character on the show in terms of dialogue – he was always ready with a zinger. His comedic morsels brought levity to a show that often meanders, stalls, and holds off any serious action. All we have now are the memories of lines like “You’d have better luck picking up a turd by its clean end,” or “I’ve been to eight county fairs and a goat rodeo, but I’ve never seen anything like that.” When thoughts of fatherhood in the zombie apocalypse entered his mind, Abraham asked the then- expecting daddy Glenn “When you were pouring the Bisquick, were you trying to make pancakes?” I would say “he was a poet and didn’t even know it,” but he knew it. He knew it.

Funko’s tribute to Abraham Ford’s image features him just as we remember him – complete with the hair, the ‘stache, the Army fatigues and ass-stomping boots, and a gun that can make quick work of a horde of ravenous walkers. This figure, part of Funko’s newer wave of its Walking Dead line, was gifted to me by my wife on Christmas of 2015, as she has made peace with the fact that I’m a full-blown adult who loves toys and anything having to do with zombies.

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This concludes this memorial edition of “Funko Friday.” Happy hunting, Abraham. You’ll be sorely missed.

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