Revelations and Doorknobs

For this page, I have selected certain pieces that I wrote for my blog of the same name, which was featured on the website for The Only Podcast That Matters. For four years, along with my friends Chris, Andrew and Jack, as well as many guests, I discussed many aspects of life in a humorous and often irreverent manner, wrote blogs, acted in video sketches, and had an amazing and unforgettable time. I wrote over 100 blogs for the site, and the ones that will be presented here have some special meaning to me. The name for the blog came to me when I began to notice a phenomenon pertaining to modern rock bands, who would throw together two completely incongruous words or objects together for their song titles. To poke fun at that trend, Revelations and Doorknobs was born. I will continue to use the name on this blog, and will write additional pieces as they come to me.

Unbuckled Thoughts, Feb. 2017

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Misheard lyrics have always created hilarity, and most, if not all of us have fallen victim at some point to our own misunderstanding of a song. My latest flub in this category is courtesy of Adele’s “Send My Love (To Your New Lover),” from her latest record 25, which was released in 2015. Since I first heard this catchy tune, I’ve always thought she said “we’ve gotta let go of all of our clothes, we both know we ain’t kids no more” in the song’s chorus. It wasn’t until about a month ago that I realized the lyric went “we’ve gotta let go of all of our GHOSTS…” I wasn’t understanding what forced nakedness had to do with coming to grips with getting older, but now I have my answer.  Continue reading →

Clowning Around

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It’s quite literally the stuff of nightmares. Right up there with spiders, a world without bacon, and this year’s Presidential election, a bone-chilling phenomenon has quickly spread from its apparent origins in the Carolinas (where much of the inland demographic is comprised of good ol’ boys with shotguns and itchy trigger fingers) all the way to my hometown in New Jersey. It seems that certain members of society have taken it upon themselves to prey upon the general public’s abject fear of clowns, and have hammered that fear in without, to my knowledge, actually inflicting physical harm upon anyone. Continue reading →

5 Video Games That I Sorely Miss

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Nowadays, I’m nothing of a gamer. I own an Xbox 360 that is covered in dust, my Live membership having lapsed long ago. In my youth, however, a video game controller was often in my hands (or being thrown from them during a temperamental rage-quit) after I reluctantly came inside. There were many games that I enjoyed, but here I will discuss five games that I miss immensely and long to have back in my life. These games span from the original Nintendo system, on through Nintendo 64, and encompass perhaps thousands of hours of gameplay between them. Continue reading →

Left Coast Envy

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My recent trip to Southern California, which occurred a full five years after my first visit to the lower portion of the Golden State, has done nothing but strengthen my desire to uproot and replant where the air is warm and the sun never dies. Until August of 2011 , all I had seen of California had been in the movies – the eternal sunshine, the palm trees, the celebrities, the incredible beaches – and I always knew it was a place I would have to see up close one day. When I finally got my chance, I was awestruck. Like a true tourist, I took pictures of everything. I didn’t seem to have enough eyes in my head to take in all that such a magical place had to offer. Continue reading →

For Unlawful Carnal Composition: Panic! At The Disco- “Lying Is The Most Fun A Girl Can Have Without Taking Her Clothes Off”

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Panic! At The Disco’s first album A Fever You Can’t Sweat Out came out way back when I was in college, and I had never heard anything like it. A strange but highly-addictive mix of rock, punk, electronica and cabaret, this 2005 release was incredible to me, as well as to the rest of the Alternative Press-reading crowd. It enjoyed relentless plays on my iPod, and I loved the record from front to back. Guitarist Ryan Ross’s clever and sarcastic lyrics were delivered perfectly by lead singer Brendan Urie, whose voice sounded eerily like that of Patrick Stump of Fall Out Boy, so much so that when I heard Panic’s first single, I thought they WERE Fall Out Boy. Continue reading →

For Unlawful Carnal Composition: Danger Danger- “Naughty Naughty”

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This week on “For Unlawful Carnal Composition” we’re reaching back to the rock ‘n’ roll excess of the late 80’s for another song about getting down and dirty. The musical landscape of the time was rife with tunes like this, as abundant sex was secondary only to rocking out for the long-haired guys in rock bands. Taking the spotlight on this edition of my music series on songs about sex is Queens, New York-based Danger Danger and their raunchy hit “Naughty Naughty” (their other biggest hit was “Bang Bang,” I’m sure you can see what’s going on here with the nomenclature). Continue reading →