Bye Bye Benny

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Last Tuesday, the denizens of the Jersey shore celebrated the start of what is lovingly referred to as “local summer”, which is a period of two or three weeks in September after the Bennies leave, when the roads are clear(er), the beaches are relatively empty, and the weather is still warm enough to enjoy various outdoor activities. The invaders from the North have made the trek back to where they belong until the next Memorial Day Weekend. For the past three-and-a-half months or so, the southbound side of the Garden State Parkway has been jammed with New York license plates, providing a slow-moving passageway for swarms of loud-mouthed litterbugs who make the shore a living hell for locals and the laughing stock of the nation each summer. The weekly invasion appears to start on Thursday nights now, as in the Benny universe, Fridays are non-work days.  Continue reading

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All Roads Lead To Insanity

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Welcome to New Jersey, a magical place where you have to pay to drive on the roads, so that they may be eternally under construction. A place where the police circle mall parking lots, scanning license plates at random just to see what they can dig up. One night, you might come out to your car after work at one of those malls to a $130 ticket on your windshield because your registration was expired by three days. New Jersey is the most densely-populated state in the nation, and that mere fact makes the task of driving here one not for the faint-of-heart. Continue reading